Tuesday night was a make-up session in art class. Painters in the Tuesday night group are a lively bunch. A little wine, Pavarotti and life stories mix with the paints. There is a gentleman who does some freaking amazing work on Tuesday night. Amazing. His son started class the night I was there. Cute kid, college grad, on the way to med school. Their sharing of art class could go so well or so wrong and I was drawn to the thought about how hard it could be to share space with a loved one.
In this art space, the father’s talent could be intimidating to the son.”Living in the shadow” type thing. The father could wish more for the son than the son has to offer in talent or desire. It would be easy for the father lion to dominate and domineer.
Allowing a loved one space, personal vision, and autonomy can be hard. You want the best for them. You want to push them to their full potential and at the same time make it easier than the way it went for you. Shortcuts, efficiency, no pain.
Life is about the bumps and cuts and bruises gained in the living process. You never really feel something without getting your hands dirty. To save the troubles, tribulations and mess ups weakens the backbone.
The balance is assisting, showing, sharing and teaching while at the same time understanding that the other’s approach won’t be like yours- it is through a different lens. They have a different vision and a different style. It is beautiful in its own way. It’s not the anti-way (my mom will get this statement) but rather the unique expression of their history folding into present/future.
Having a child, I live out the fact that this is a hard feat to accomplish. I know I mess it up all the time and for that, I’m sorry. I give myself grace and allow that awareness is what is important. There is no manual. I had two great teachers (yes, they got it mixed up sometimes too). Through their efforts to let me/make me learn by trial and error-and stand by me through it all- I feel firsthand what it is like to be given that wide berth which in turn allows me to pass that down in hopes that it will be understood, honored and carried forward through yet another generation.